Heart Attack Humor

Ken's cousin sent this and I thought it was funny.

Japanese eat little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.
Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.
Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.
Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Our Government is trying to correct this problem.

Catchy and Funny Phrases...

Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean ' em.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

The task ahead of us is never as

Great as the Power behind us.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:

1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

When you get to your wit's end,

You'll find God lives there.

God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead.

So why should you?

Some minds are like concrete

Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises'

are just sitting on the premises.

Buyer Beware At The Gas Pump

One-third of the gasoline stations inspected in a recent three-day state sweep were found pumping less gas than motorists paid for, posting wrong prices or pumping low-octane fuel for people buying premium. That pervasive pattern of fraud cries out for increased vigilance, by consumers and by county and state inspectors.

Authorities ticketed 350 gas station owners in the three-day sweep of 1,023 stations in all 21 counties. Among the stations cited were 12 in Monmouth County and eight in Ocean County. The state Division of Consumer Affairs should post the list of violators prominently on its Web site. And the gas stations on the list should receive regular visits from inspectors.

State Attorney General Anne Milgram said she believes most of the violations were intentional. Even in instances when they weren't, gas station operators have an obligation to know the law and to follow it.

Violators face fines of up to $1,500 for first-time offenses and significantly more for repeat violations. Counties process the violations and can suspend a gas station's operating license for five to 30 days. They should impose the toughest penalties allowed by law to send a clear message to gas station owners that fraud will not be tolerated — and fraud will not pay. And consumers should do their part by monitoring prices at the pump and reading their receipts carefully.


Links to this article
Snopes

What keeps you going?

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Life keeps you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing,
But only GOD keeps you Going !

Cool Ties For The Soldiers

Cool Ties have become a very popular method of keeping cool during the summer heat. Each cool tie is made with medium size polymer which is safe and non-toxic. Cool Ties work on the principal of evaporative cooling. Once the polymer is hydrated, the fabric surface of the Cool Tie draws the moisture from the polymer to the fabric surface, which evaporates resulting in an effective body cooler. In areas of high humidity where no wind is present use two or three Cool Ties, keeping one in a refrigerator or ice chest and as soon as the one being worn reaches body temperature, exchange it with the one in the cooler. Wear the Cool Tie around the neck or head and it will bring great relief from the heat!

How to Make Cool Ties or Bandanas

Each pound of MEDIUM size polymer contains about 115 teaspoons of crystals, which will make at least 50 bandanas at 2 teaspoons per tie.

For MSDS click here

There are several ways to make Cool Ties. Cotton fabric will work best, as it has superior wicking properties. Let your imagination be your guide. One method is to take an ordinary bandana and make a Cool Tie by simply folding over the wide edge about an inch or an inch and a half and stitching the “hem” down to create a tube. Complete the bandanas as with the following instructions for the ties:

	Scissors
	Tape measure
	Serger/sewing machine
	4" strip of fabric 45" long (actual length will depend on personal preference)
	One Tablespoon of medium Watersorb polymer granules. order page

DIRECTIONS

1. Cut one strip of fabric 4" wide from a fabric that is at least 45" wide. If you want to have a bow to tie use a 60" wide fabric.
2. Fold the fabric strip in half lengthwise (the piece should be 4" by 22 1/2"). Mark the fold. This is the center back of the neck band. Open up the fabric and measure and mark 7" on each side of the center back.

Fold the fabric right sides together the width of the strip (the piece should now be 2" by 45".) Using a 5/8" seam, stitch between the marks. (There should be 14" stitched--7" on either side of center back.)

3. The tail ends may be rounded or slanted to give a more finished look. Finish the edges and ends of the rest of the band by serging or turning and stitching. Press.

4. Turn tube right side out and press. At one end of the tube, stitch to close, then double stitch for strength. At this point you should have one end of the tube open.

5. Carefully pour the polymer granules into the tube (1-3 teaspoons). Stitch the tube closed. Reinforce with another row of stitching.

6. To use the cool neck band, soak in water for a 15-20 minutes (hot water speeds the hydration process). As the polymer granules soak up the water "mush" them around so the polymer spreads out equally along the tube. Tie around your neck for a "Cool Band."

TIPS

• The polymer granules are used in gardening soil for water retention. (Use Watersorb Medium 1-3 tsp) Each pound of polymer has about 115 tsp.
• The cool band can be refrigerated so it is more refreshing on a hot day.
• It can be soaked in cold water and used over and over.
• If too many polymer granules are used in the tube, the polymer will ooze through the fabric tube. Generally two teaspoons is all that is needed.

.... · Store in a zip lock bag in the refrigerator, or hang dry. The polymer will rehydrate again using instructions in step 6.

Daily Journal Article:Home-schoolers threaten our cultural comfort...

6/8/2008 9:39:01 AM Daily Journal Article by: Sonny Scott

You see them at the grocery, or in a discount store.

It's a big family by today’s standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list.

There's no begging for gimcracks, no fretting, and no threats from mom. The older watch the younger, freeing mom to go peacefully about her task.

You are looking at some of the estimated 2 million children being home schooled in the U.S., and the number is growing. Their reputation for academic achievement has caused colleges to begin aggressively recruiting them. Savings to the taxpayers in instructional costs are conservatively estimated at $4 billion, and some place the figure as high as $9 billion. When you consider that these families pay taxes to support public schools, but demand nothing from them, it seems quite a deal for the public.

Home schooling parents are usually better educated than the norm, and are more likely to attend worship services. Their motives are many and varied. Some fear contagion from the anti-clericalism, coarse speech, suggestive behavior and hedonistic values that characterize secular schools. Others are concerned for their children’s safety. Some want their children to be challenged beyond the minimal competencies of the public schools. Concern for a theistic world view largely permeates the movement.

Indications are that home schooling is working well for the kids, and the parents are pleased with their choice, but the practice is coming under increasing suspicion, and even official attack, as in California.

Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?

Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the home schooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.

Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar’s be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return.

Just as the jealous Chaldeans schemed to bring the wrath of the king upon the Hebrew eunuchs, we are happy to sic the state’s bureaucrats on these “trouble makers.” Their implicit rejection of America’s most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. “Individualism”) spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions.

Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity, and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter’s wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square-foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim “our right” to pursue a career for our own
"self-fulfillment."

Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity. We are tired from working extra jobs, and the looming depression threatens our 401k’s. Credit cards are nearly maxed, and it costs a $100 to fuel the Suburban. Now the kid is raising hell again, demanding the latest Play Station as his price for doing his school work … and there goes that modest young woman in the home-made dress with her four bright-eyed, well-behaved home-schooled children in tow. Wouldn’t you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face?

Is it any wonder we hate her so?

Sonny Scott a community columnist, lives on Sparta Road in Chickasaw County and his e-mail address is sonnyscott@yahoo.com.

Appeared originally in the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, 6/8/2008, section 0 , page 0

This article taken from here.

Salmonellosis Outbreak in Certain Types of Tomatoes

FDA has issued a warning to consumers nationwide that an outbreak of Salmonella serotype Saintpaul, an uncommon type of Salmonella, has been linked to consumption of raw red plum, red Roma, round red tomatoes, and products containing these raw tomatoes.

June 11, 2008: At this time, FDA recommends consuming raw red plum, raw red Roma, or raw red round tomatoes only if grown and harvested from the following areas that HAVE NOT BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH THE OUTBREAK:

1-40 Cav Mortars

Obama Post Turtle

Couldn't resist posting this joke sent to me...


While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Barack Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, 'Kids in the country find a turtle when they are out and about, they sometimes put him on the top of a fence post.When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just want to help the poor thing get down.'

One Minute Each Night

This is the scariest election We as Christians have ever faced. From the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees. Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, then stand back and watch His wonders to behold. His scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land.

2 Chronicles 7:14 : If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

During WWII, there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace. This had an amazing effect as bombing stopped.

There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America.The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever !!!

If you would like to participate: each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time, 8:00 PM Central , 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific, stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world, for wisdom and courage for our leaders, the up-coming election, and that the Bible will remain the basis for the laws governing our land and that Christianity will grow in the U.S.

If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along. Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have. Thank You.

Please pass this onto anyone who you think will want to join us. God Bless You!!!

Nick's Testimony

This is an awesome testimony... PAUSE THE MUSIC ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS BLOG BEFORE YOU START THE VIDEO.




Find out more information at the Life Without Limbs Organization
or Attitude is Altitude
Thanks to Kim T. for sending this.

Baker Co. 9/11 We Remember...

The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute To our fallen comrades. So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is By taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that "WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN" and are proud to serve our country.

Semper Fi
1stSgt Dave Jobe

The attached photo was forwarded from one of the last U.S. Marine companies in Iraq. They would like to have it passed to as many people as possible, to let the folks back home know that they remember why they're there and that they remember those who've been lost.


It is true check it here